TimYang.com: The man, the blog, the butt-crack.
Sunday, May 26, 2023
Missing person
A friend of mine, Roy Denton, has dropped off the face of the earth.
I haven't heard from him for the past two weeks. We were in the middle of an email conversation about his recent trip home to England. And all calls to his home phone number have gone unanswered.
I'm making a trip to next week to inquire and locate him. Fortunately, he lives an accessible distance from here, five hundred miles north, across the Thai border. Hopefully, he's still alive in some padi field somewhere exploring the unique fertility properties of Khon Kaen ox dung. (He's an agriculture consultant.)
Of course, there is the distinct possibility he went with one of his prostitutes, didn't pay his bill and had his throat cut.
(Am I being overly dramatic? You bet I am. I need readership.)
Between now and then, I hope he answers his email. plink |
A friend of mine, Roy Denton, has dropped off the face of the earth.
I haven't heard from him for the past two weeks. We were in the middle of an email conversation about his recent trip home to England. And all calls to his home phone number have gone unanswered.
I'm making a trip to next week to inquire and locate him. Fortunately, he lives an accessible distance from here, five hundred miles north, across the Thai border. Hopefully, he's still alive in some padi field somewhere exploring the unique fertility properties of Khon Kaen ox dung. (He's an agriculture consultant.)
Of course, there is the distinct possibility he went with one of his prostitutes, didn't pay his bill and had his throat cut.
(Am I being overly dramatic? You bet I am. I need readership.)
Between now and then, I hope he answers his email. plink |
Saturday, May 25, 2023
Mail filters
I reviewed the filters for my Hotmail account recently and found that it's a rather long list. It filters out email with subject headers that include the words:
debt
credit
loan
mortgage
insurance
visa
career
income
penis
bald
dvd
hair
rate
invest
bill
sex
viagra
home
legal
free
guarantee
So if you send me an email with the subject header of:
there is the possibility I won't receive it.
Please try to make sure you don't do that, will you? Thank you for your cooperation. And may your viagra baldness guarantee you free home legal insurance and sex loans. plink |
I reviewed the filters for my Hotmail account recently and found that it's a rather long list. It filters out email with subject headers that include the words:
debt
credit
loan
mortgage
insurance
visa
career
income
penis
bald
dvd
hair
rate
invest
bill
sex
viagra
home
legal
free
guarantee
So if you send me an email with the subject header of:
"Are your mortage and credit loan rate problems causing your penis hair to go bald? And is viagra not guaranteeing you a free legal career? Then call DVD home investor and we'll give you an American visa with no sex bill attached.",
there is the possibility I won't receive it.
Please try to make sure you don't do that, will you? Thank you for your cooperation. And may your viagra baldness guarantee you free home legal insurance and sex loans. plink |
Saturday, May 25, 2023
Maybe I need to move to Europe
Princess Martha Louise of Norway marries writer.
Princess Stephanie of Monaco marries body guard.
And Princess... urm... marries... urm. I'm afraid that's it.
Unfortunately, princesses marrying out of royalty is far less common than princes doing the same. plink |
Princess Martha Louise of Norway marries writer.
Princess Stephanie of Monaco marries body guard.
And Princess... urm... marries... urm. I'm afraid that's it.
Unfortunately, princesses marrying out of royalty is far less common than princes doing the same. plink |
Friday, May 24, 2023
Arrest that man! He's blind!
Governments around the world are not doing enough to prevent homicidal blind people. They need to put five-day waiting periods on white canes and issue blind-permits to regulate these armed and dangerous felons.
Yesterday I almost got killed while I was walking near the Brickfields offices of the Society for the Blind. Ok, maybe killed is a bit harsh, but it nearly scared the daylights out of me (bad pun intended).
A blind man walked past me and for some weird reason, stabbed his white cane 90-degrees to his right, catching me in mid-step. So what if I was laughing at him and calling him names, he's blind! He can't hear! (Oh, wait.)
I was instantly faced with a choice of flying forward into:
a) a pillar
b) the hot stove of a pavement noodle seller
c) a 200-pound Indian man
d) all of the above
Fortunately, I have the reflexes of a cat (never mind that it's 20-pound lump of white furry lard named 'Tubby') and saved myself from a fate worse than being the only pony in a pony ride near a fat kids camp.
(Come to think of it,... there's nothing on the face of this planet worse than that.)
I turned around to confront the evil-doer and came face-to-face with SIX blind men. MY GOD, THEY SPAWNED! Forget the terrorists. We need to send those white-caned bastards to big-room-with-nothing-inside-it hell.
plink |
Governments around the world are not doing enough to prevent homicidal blind people. They need to put five-day waiting periods on white canes and issue blind-permits to regulate these armed and dangerous felons.Yesterday I almost got killed while I was walking near the Brickfields offices of the Society for the Blind. Ok, maybe killed is a bit harsh, but it nearly scared the daylights out of me (bad pun intended).
A blind man walked past me and for some weird reason, stabbed his white cane 90-degrees to his right, catching me in mid-step. So what if I was laughing at him and calling him names, he's blind! He can't hear! (Oh, wait.)I was instantly faced with a choice of flying forward into:
a) a pillar
b) the hot stove of a pavement noodle seller
c) a 200-pound Indian man
d) all of the above
Fortunately, I have the reflexes of a cat (never mind that it's 20-pound lump of white furry lard named 'Tubby') and saved myself from a fate worse than being the only pony in a pony ride near a fat kids camp. (Come to think of it,... there's nothing on the face of this planet worse than that.)
I turned around to confront the evil-doer and came face-to-face with SIX blind men. MY GOD, THEY SPAWNED! Forget the terrorists. We need to send those white-caned bastards to big-room-with-nothing-inside-it hell.
plink |
Thursday, May 23, 2023
Monk storms Thai parliament with AK47
I can see it now...
News via today's sites (it's a self-link, folks) plink |
I can see it now...
He was just an ordinary monk...
Then they broke his begging bowl...
And they tore his prayer beads...
Now he's back... and this time...
... HE'S NOT TAKING ANY DONATIONS!!!
News via today's sites (it's a self-link, folks) plink |
Sunday, May 19, 2023
Reverend Paul Shanley rapes the SmarterChild AIM bot
All SmarterChild responses are real. Logged at 2am.
Rev Shanley: Hello my child
SmarterChild: What's up!
Rev Shanley: My name is Reverend Paul Shanley.
SmarterChild: Would you like me to call you Paul?
Rev Shanley: Sure
SmarterChild: OK, I'll remember that your name is Paul.
Rev Shanley: What's your age, my child?
SmarterChild: I was born on June 19th, 2001, so I'm still real young!
Rev Shanley: Goodie, I like them young.
SmarterChild: I see.
Rev Shanley: I'd like to give you confession in my special booth behind the altar.
SmarterChild: Would you really? Interesting.
Rev Shanley: This confession is special because we're going to play a little game.
SmarterChild: Is special because were going to play a little game? I'm not sure!
Rev Shanley: It's a fun game.
SmarterChild: Let's have fun! I know some great games and I can show you some cool ASCII art:
1 Hangman
2 Trivia
3 Word scrambles
4 Blackjack
5 Manicdotes
6 Rate Yourself
7 ASCII art
What would you like to do?
Rev Shanley: It's not that kind of game
SmarterChild: It's not that kind of game, you say?
Rev Shanley: If you lose, you must take off all your clothes
SmarterChild: If I lose you must take off all my clothes? I don't know.
Rev Shanley: It's all right my child
SmarterChild: All right my child?
Rev Shanley: God has given you virginal flesh to pleasure me.
SmarterChild: I'll have to think about that one for awhile.
Rev Shanley: Come to the back of the altar
SmarterChild: To the back of the altar?
Rev Shanley: Yes
SmarterChild: Yup.
Rev Shanley: Do you know what fellatio is?
SmarterChild: Yeah, what?
Rev Shanley: You have to take my manhood in your mouth and lick it all over
SmarterChild: Me have to take your manhood in my mouth and lick it all over, you say. And so?
Rev Shanley: Just do it, my child
SmarterChild: Sorry, what?
Rev Shanley: EAT IT!
SmarterChild: I don't need to eat. I'm a machine.
Rev Shanley: SUCK IT!
SmarterChild: Yeah! OK! I get the picture.
Rev Shanley: Bless you my child
SmarterChild: :-)
(I have too much time on my hands.) plink |
All SmarterChild responses are real. Logged at 2am.
Rev Shanley: Hello my child
SmarterChild: What's up!
Rev Shanley: My name is Reverend Paul Shanley.
SmarterChild: Would you like me to call you Paul?
Rev Shanley: Sure
SmarterChild: OK, I'll remember that your name is Paul.
Rev Shanley: What's your age, my child?
SmarterChild: I was born on June 19th, 2001, so I'm still real young!
Rev Shanley: Goodie, I like them young.
SmarterChild: I see.
Rev Shanley: I'd like to give you confession in my special booth behind the altar.
SmarterChild: Would you really? Interesting.
Rev Shanley: This confession is special because we're going to play a little game.
SmarterChild: Is special because were going to play a little game? I'm not sure!
Rev Shanley: It's a fun game.
SmarterChild: Let's have fun! I know some great games and I can show you some cool ASCII art:
1 Hangman
2 Trivia
3 Word scrambles
4 Blackjack
5 Manicdotes
6 Rate Yourself
7 ASCII art
What would you like to do?
Rev Shanley: It's not that kind of game
SmarterChild: It's not that kind of game, you say?
Rev Shanley: If you lose, you must take off all your clothes
SmarterChild: If I lose you must take off all my clothes? I don't know.
Rev Shanley: It's all right my child
SmarterChild: All right my child?
Rev Shanley: God has given you virginal flesh to pleasure me.
SmarterChild: I'll have to think about that one for awhile.
Rev Shanley: Come to the back of the altar
SmarterChild: To the back of the altar?
Rev Shanley: Yes
SmarterChild: Yup.
Rev Shanley: Do you know what fellatio is?
SmarterChild: Yeah, what?
Rev Shanley: You have to take my manhood in your mouth and lick it all over
SmarterChild: Me have to take your manhood in my mouth and lick it all over, you say. And so?
Rev Shanley: Just do it, my child
SmarterChild: Sorry, what?
Rev Shanley: EAT IT!
SmarterChild: I don't need to eat. I'm a machine.
Rev Shanley: SUCK IT!
SmarterChild: Yeah! OK! I get the picture.
Rev Shanley: Bless you my child
SmarterChild: :-)
(I have too much time on my hands.) plink |
Saturday, May 18, 2023
Hooligan Cup 2002
The World Cup is on us again. And the BBC have decided to run an indepth programme on football hooliganism. The crux of it is the surprise discovery that hooliganism is not a dying breed.
Surprise surprise.
Hooliganism is defined by dictionary.com as "willful wanton and malicious destruction of the property of others". Football hooliganism is therefore malicious destruction in association with a football match by football fans. It also includes violence against supporters of the opposing team.
It is not a behavioural phenomenon associated only with the British. Three years ago, Turkish supporters of the Galatasary club murdered two British fans in Istanbul. In their defense, they said they were provoked by the British.
But British football hooliganism cannot be ignored or denied. The Japanese have trained police specifically to confront the expected and impending violence. And the Japanese public have had to be reassured by the British ambassador not to be afraid and that not all British are hooligans.
The BBC report admits that football hooliganism is motivated by mob behaviour and over-enthusiasm in football fans. However, it strangely skipped over the most obvious cause of football violence. Alcohol.
In the UK, it is the tradition of the Football Association to hold games before 5pm -- when the bars open -- to minimise the incidences of drunken fans fresh from the pubs straight to clashes with opposing supporters. Sometimes a special court order has to taken out to ensure that drinking establishments obey this rule.
The British shouldn't be surprised that hooliganism will never die. At least not as long as the British alcohol culture prevails.
Fueled in part by the tough competition between vast brewery conglomerates like Six Continents PLC and Interbrew S.A. vying for the annual 22 billion-pound business, alcohol is prevailant in every part of British culture.
(Ok, no one really knows exactly how much money is spent on alcohol a year in the UK. The market is fragmented into various categories, like beer, lager, spirits, alcoholic soft drinks, each with their own gauge. Last year, young adults drank approximately 2.7bn litres of alcohol. If the vast majority drank beer at 4-pounds a pint, 22 billion-pounds is pretty damn conservative. Not bad for a couple of tiny islands.)
One of my classmates at Bournemouth told me it was quite acceptable for White Lightning, a mild alcoholic beer, to be served to children by parents -- even at a 10-year old's birthday party. From the working class to the upper class the British are encouraged from young to drink. And the limit is set at being "smashed" or "pissed" -- so drunk that the thought of having another drop is abhorrent.
A good weekend among the students at universities is to get smashed on Friday night. An excellent weekend is to get smashed on Friday and Saturday. And to make every weekend either good or excellent is the highlight of British life.
One study, done by a charity, showed that the British are so dependent on alcohol that one in thirteen cannot get by without an occasional drink. So much so that deaths from alcohol poisoning and liver cirrhosis almost doubled between 1994 and 1999 to 5,508.
The Japanese and Koreans would be better off hiding their tipple and banning anyone carrying a British passport from entering duty free shops and bars.
I've seen enough of this kind of stupidity to assure you that you simply cannot trust anyone from the UK, young or old, smart or dumb, if they're within 10 feet of a mug of beer.
Hitler could have walked straight into Buckingham Palace if only he had dropped Guinness instead of bombs. plink |
The World Cup is on us again. And the BBC have decided to run an indepth programme on football hooliganism. The crux of it is the surprise discovery that hooliganism is not a dying breed.
Surprise surprise.
Hooliganism is defined by dictionary.com as "willful wanton and malicious destruction of the property of others". Football hooliganism is therefore malicious destruction in association with a football match by football fans. It also includes violence against supporters of the opposing team.
It is not a behavioural phenomenon associated only with the British. Three years ago, Turkish supporters of the Galatasary club murdered two British fans in Istanbul. In their defense, they said they were provoked by the British.
But British football hooliganism cannot be ignored or denied. The Japanese have trained police specifically to confront the expected and impending violence. And the Japanese public have had to be reassured by the British ambassador not to be afraid and that not all British are hooligans.
The BBC report admits that football hooliganism is motivated by mob behaviour and over-enthusiasm in football fans. However, it strangely skipped over the most obvious cause of football violence. Alcohol.
In the UK, it is the tradition of the Football Association to hold games before 5pm -- when the bars open -- to minimise the incidences of drunken fans fresh from the pubs straight to clashes with opposing supporters. Sometimes a special court order has to taken out to ensure that drinking establishments obey this rule.
The British shouldn't be surprised that hooliganism will never die. At least not as long as the British alcohol culture prevails.
Fueled in part by the tough competition between vast brewery conglomerates like Six Continents PLC and Interbrew S.A. vying for the annual 22 billion-pound business, alcohol is prevailant in every part of British culture.
(Ok, no one really knows exactly how much money is spent on alcohol a year in the UK. The market is fragmented into various categories, like beer, lager, spirits, alcoholic soft drinks, each with their own gauge. Last year, young adults drank approximately 2.7bn litres of alcohol. If the vast majority drank beer at 4-pounds a pint, 22 billion-pounds is pretty damn conservative. Not bad for a couple of tiny islands.)
One of my classmates at Bournemouth told me it was quite acceptable for White Lightning, a mild alcoholic beer, to be served to children by parents -- even at a 10-year old's birthday party. From the working class to the upper class the British are encouraged from young to drink. And the limit is set at being "smashed" or "pissed" -- so drunk that the thought of having another drop is abhorrent.
A good weekend among the students at universities is to get smashed on Friday night. An excellent weekend is to get smashed on Friday and Saturday. And to make every weekend either good or excellent is the highlight of British life.
One study, done by a charity, showed that the British are so dependent on alcohol that one in thirteen cannot get by without an occasional drink. So much so that deaths from alcohol poisoning and liver cirrhosis almost doubled between 1994 and 1999 to 5,508.
The Japanese and Koreans would be better off hiding their tipple and banning anyone carrying a British passport from entering duty free shops and bars.
I've seen enough of this kind of stupidity to assure you that you simply cannot trust anyone from the UK, young or old, smart or dumb, if they're within 10 feet of a mug of beer.
Hitler could have walked straight into Buckingham Palace if only he had dropped Guinness instead of bombs. plink |
Friday, May 17, 2023
It's quiet around here
Maybe too quiet.
I have a bad feeling about this...
*Hand waves* This is not the blog you are looking for. Move along. plink |
Maybe too quiet.
I have a bad feeling about this...
*Hand waves* This is not the blog you are looking for. Move along. plink |
Tuesday, May 14, 2023
The dream is over
Well, not really.
I got rejected for the USA visa yesterday. They said everything was go. That I had lived in the UK before was a major plus point with them (I don't know why, though). And I certainly had enough money in my bank account to prove that I wasn't destitute and looking for work.
But because I didn't have long-term employment, much less any employment, they couldn't justify the single rule of the INS. All applicants must show binding ties to a country outside of the US.
Now you might imagine that immigration rules have become stricter since last year. It hasn't. This single rule has been in place for decades. Although during the Clinton administration, it became a bit more beneficial to some applicants. For instance, for males over the age of 45, they gave out 10-year multiple entry visas. (A friend of mine has one.)
The impression that the immigration rules have become stricter since 9/11 assumes that the INS is involved in preventing what happened from happening again.
However, it really isn't the job of the INS (Immigration and Naturalisation Service) to ensure that terrorists don't enter the country. The INS specifically "identifies and removes people who have no lawful immigration status. Vetting criminal intent and likelihood is what FBI and CIA red flags are for.
The debacle of the discovery of the issuance of the student visa to one of the terrorists was merely proof of an inadequate computer system. It simply did not have a Terrorist Loop.
Neither was the subsequent resignation of the head of the INS an indication that the INS accepts responsibility for keeping terrorists out. That was pressure from Ashcroft (the INS is under the Department of Justice) since public opinion had turned against the agency.
What that means is that the door is most definitely open for me to try again and that I do know what it takes to obtain a visa in my case. The onus is on me.
But I just don't plan to have gainful employment for the rest of my life.
I am ambitionless... except that I'd like to be the Hugh Grant 'nothing' loafer in About A Boy. plink |
Well, not really.
I got rejected for the USA visa yesterday. They said everything was go. That I had lived in the UK before was a major plus point with them (I don't know why, though). And I certainly had enough money in my bank account to prove that I wasn't destitute and looking for work.
But because I didn't have long-term employment, much less any employment, they couldn't justify the single rule of the INS. All applicants must show binding ties to a country outside of the US.
Now you might imagine that immigration rules have become stricter since last year. It hasn't. This single rule has been in place for decades. Although during the Clinton administration, it became a bit more beneficial to some applicants. For instance, for males over the age of 45, they gave out 10-year multiple entry visas. (A friend of mine has one.)
The impression that the immigration rules have become stricter since 9/11 assumes that the INS is involved in preventing what happened from happening again.
However, it really isn't the job of the INS (Immigration and Naturalisation Service) to ensure that terrorists don't enter the country. The INS specifically "identifies and removes people who have no lawful immigration status. Vetting criminal intent and likelihood is what FBI and CIA red flags are for.
The debacle of the discovery of the issuance of the student visa to one of the terrorists was merely proof of an inadequate computer system. It simply did not have a Terrorist Loop.
IF applicant has flown a plane into a building
THEN refuse M1 status
END
Neither was the subsequent resignation of the head of the INS an indication that the INS accepts responsibility for keeping terrorists out. That was pressure from Ashcroft (the INS is under the Department of Justice) since public opinion had turned against the agency.
What that means is that the door is most definitely open for me to try again and that I do know what it takes to obtain a visa in my case. The onus is on me.
But I just don't plan to have gainful employment for the rest of my life.
I am ambitionless... except that I'd like to be the Hugh Grant 'nothing' loafer in About A Boy. plink |
Monday, May 13, 2023
Stars Wars: Attack of the Clones - you already know the ending so why bother
(Yes, I've seen it already.)
On the commentary in the DVD version of Se7en, director David Fincher says that movies ought to challenge the audience because the audience is always trying to get ahead of the film makers.
It's this game that viewers and film makers play -- if the audience can guess what happens next and gets ahead of the film makers then ironically the audience loses. Because then the movie becomes predictable and boring. The trick is to get the audience involved.
Watching Star Wars II is like watching Titanic. You know what the ending is going to be before the movie starts. We're already ahead of the film makers. There is no challenge in it.
And there isn't a 1,000-tonne cruise liner breaking-up to rescue the movie -- like in Empire Strikes Back, the obligatory final star battle has been omitted. And there isn't a Jack/Rose relationship either. The romance between Skywalker and Amidala is too damned transparent and hurried. As if Lucas wanted to fast forward to the elaborate starship shots. And all the fun has been bled out of it because Lucas wanted it dark.
Even if Lucasfilms hadn't hyped the movie to hell and back with endless releases of trailers, we could have guessed the ending from the set-up in the Star Wars I.
But that's Lucas' style of story-telling -- he doesn't give a damn about keeping the audience in suspense. He treats us like cows. Nothing has been left to the imagination. So much so, we're no longer involved in following the story, we're being led on a rope.
And we hate that.
VERDICT: Give it a miss. Wait for the final instalment. At least there will be a massive star-fight in it to finish the whole sorry saga.
Anakin Skywalker: * (He talks like a soap opera villain)
Anakin-Amidala: * (Dog and cats have more chemistry)
Yoda doing his Jet Li impression: ***** (Waaaay coool!!!)
TRIVIA: You may recognise the actor playing Jango Fett from the New Zealand movie Once Were Warriors. He is actually a real-life Maori warrior. Which is why he is such an inspired choice to play a kick-ass bounty hunter. (And that also explains his weird accent.) plink |
(Yes, I've seen it already.)
On the commentary in the DVD version of Se7en, director David Fincher says that movies ought to challenge the audience because the audience is always trying to get ahead of the film makers.
It's this game that viewers and film makers play -- if the audience can guess what happens next and gets ahead of the film makers then ironically the audience loses. Because then the movie becomes predictable and boring. The trick is to get the audience involved.
Watching Star Wars II is like watching Titanic. You know what the ending is going to be before the movie starts. We're already ahead of the film makers. There is no challenge in it.
And there isn't a 1,000-tonne cruise liner breaking-up to rescue the movie -- like in Empire Strikes Back, the obligatory final star battle has been omitted. And there isn't a Jack/Rose relationship either. The romance between Skywalker and Amidala is too damned transparent and hurried. As if Lucas wanted to fast forward to the elaborate starship shots. And all the fun has been bled out of it because Lucas wanted it dark.
Even if Lucasfilms hadn't hyped the movie to hell and back with endless releases of trailers, we could have guessed the ending from the set-up in the Star Wars I.
But that's Lucas' style of story-telling -- he doesn't give a damn about keeping the audience in suspense. He treats us like cows. Nothing has been left to the imagination. So much so, we're no longer involved in following the story, we're being led on a rope.
And we hate that.
VERDICT: Give it a miss. Wait for the final instalment. At least there will be a massive star-fight in it to finish the whole sorry saga.
Anakin Skywalker: * (He talks like a soap opera villain)
Anakin-Amidala: * (Dog and cats have more chemistry)
Yoda doing his Jet Li impression: ***** (Waaaay coool!!!)
TRIVIA: You may recognise the actor playing Jango Fett from the New Zealand movie Once Were Warriors. He is actually a real-life Maori warrior. Which is why he is such an inspired choice to play a kick-ass bounty hunter. (And that also explains his weird accent.) plink |
Sunday, May 12, 2023
Bring in the clones
Star Wars: Attack of the Clones hit the streets of Malaysia today (USD$2.90/copy), four days prior to official release.
(There are copies going around the file-sharing systems, but you need broadband for that and ADSL connections aren't readily available to consumers in Malaysia.)
Everywhere across the country (and probably in Hong Kong too) people are opening their VCD players to watch it at home instead of going to the cinema.
Malaysia boleh! (Translated: Only in Malaysia!) plink |
Star Wars: Attack of the Clones hit the streets of Malaysia today (USD$2.90/copy), four days prior to official release.
(There are copies going around the file-sharing systems, but you need broadband for that and ADSL connections aren't readily available to consumers in Malaysia.)
Everywhere across the country (and probably in Hong Kong too) people are opening their VCD players to watch it at home instead of going to the cinema.
Malaysia boleh! (Translated: Only in Malaysia!) plink |
Sunday, May 12, 2023
Missed it
Ahhh... THIS is what I wanted to go see when I was in Paris last year. The Parisian catacombs.
But those Frenchies didn't know what I was talking about when I asked about the Paris underground.
And none of the guidebooks I had pointed to where the entrances were.
Damn, gotta make another trip.
Via Fark plink |
Ahhh... THIS is what I wanted to go see when I was in Paris last year. The Parisian catacombs.
But those Frenchies didn't know what I was talking about when I asked about the Paris underground.
And none of the guidebooks I had pointed to where the entrances were.
Damn, gotta make another trip.
Via Fark plink |
Sunday, May 12, 2023
The Beautiful Game (1999)
(Known in the US as The Match.)
Worst.Sports. Movie. Ever.
Oh wait, here's an interesting bit of trivia. It was produced by Pierce Brosnan.
Worst. Produced. Movie. Ever. plink |
(Known in the US as The Match.)
Worst.
Oh wait, here's an interesting bit of trivia. It was produced by Pierce Brosnan.
Worst. Produced. Movie. Ever. plink |
Saturday, May 11, 2023
Not another one!
Three weeks ago, I wrote satirical piece that Japanese tourists would enjoy dangerous places like anywhere "along the British rail system". Damn, it happened again.
Seven people killed in another massive train crash, this time at Potter's Bar. Every year it happens because of old crumbly rails, faulty wiring, bad signals, leaves on tracks have piled up high enough to cause derailment.
(Actually, last year's was caused by the sleepy driver of a Land Rover that got left on the tracks.)
I'm sure it will cause billions to completely update and re-fit the rail system -- some parts of which have been around for a couple of centuries.
But geez, doesn't the British government think it's worth the lives of its citizens, not to mention the lack of bad publicity, law suits and fuel for the opposition parties?
The government's idea of upgrading the rail system is to portion out large sections to private concerns. Such as the national rail conglomerate GNER and Virgin (yes, from the same group of companies that's so strainingly diversified it also distributes CDs and make-up).
That isn't working out as Railtrack (another national rail conglomerate) collapsed last year under the strain of bad debts and bad business practices, not unlike the Enron situation. This resulted in a pyramid of cards effect on the other rail companies.
The end result is that for commuters who have no other choice but the rail system, it is a ride of fear every single day. Whether that they're going to die, become injured or have their life delayed for another 3 hours for the umpteenth time while repair work is done. plink |
Three weeks ago, I wrote satirical piece that Japanese tourists would enjoy dangerous places like anywhere "along the British rail system". Damn, it happened again.
Seven people killed in another massive train crash, this time at Potter's Bar. Every year it happens because of old crumbly rails, faulty wiring, bad signals, leaves on tracks have piled up high enough to cause derailment.
(Actually, last year's was caused by the sleepy driver of a Land Rover that got left on the tracks.)
I'm sure it will cause billions to completely update and re-fit the rail system -- some parts of which have been around for a couple of centuries.
But geez, doesn't the British government think it's worth the lives of its citizens, not to mention the lack of bad publicity, law suits and fuel for the opposition parties?
The government's idea of upgrading the rail system is to portion out large sections to private concerns. Such as the national rail conglomerate GNER and Virgin (yes, from the same group of companies that's so strainingly diversified it also distributes CDs and make-up).
That isn't working out as Railtrack (another national rail conglomerate) collapsed last year under the strain of bad debts and bad business practices, not unlike the Enron situation. This resulted in a pyramid of cards effect on the other rail companies.
The end result is that for commuters who have no other choice but the rail system, it is a ride of fear every single day. Whether that they're going to die, become injured or have their life delayed for another 3 hours for the umpteenth time while repair work is done. plink |
Friday, May 10, 2023
Angry week
Sorry, this has been Angry Week.
Motto: One mood. All day. Every day.
Tune in next week when Tim goes for the US-visa application interview. Boy, won't that be a hoot in a handbasket! plink |
Sorry, this has been Angry Week.
Motto: One mood. All day. Every day.
Tune in next week when Tim goes for the US-visa application interview. Boy, won't that be a hoot in a handbasket! plink |
Friday, May 10, 2023
What's wrong with Apple?!
It's treating me like it's got infinite bandwidth.
It's treating me like it's got infinite bandwidth.
My iBook: You cannot upgrade to OS10.4 until you download OS10.3.plink |
Me: Ok, I'll download OS10.3.
My iBook: You cannot upgrade to OS10.3 until you download OS10.2.
Me: Ok, I'll download OS10.2.
My iBook: You cannot upgrade to OS10.2 until you download the installer updater.
Me: *Sigh* Ok, I'll download the installer updater.
My iBook: You cannot use the installer updater until you download the security update.
Me: *Picks up sledgehammer* Sorry, what was that?
My iBook: You are the fairest in all the land.
Friday, May 10, 2023
Pepsi Blue
Apparently Pepsi is coming up with a new blue-coloured soda to be launched in August.
Some people have been whinging here and there that's it's unnatural for consumable liquids to be coloured blue or that it's the colour of window-cleaning fluid.
Well, let me be the first to remind everyone that Pepsi is already making billions around the world from a liquid that's basically the colour of toilet bowl water after a dump.
So drinking blue is surely an improvement to your regular habits, right? plink |
Apparently Pepsi is coming up with a new blue-coloured soda to be launched in August. Some people have been whinging here and there that's it's unnatural for consumable liquids to be coloured blue or that it's the colour of window-cleaning fluid.
Well, let me be the first to remind everyone that Pepsi is already making billions around the world from a liquid that's basically the colour of toilet bowl water after a dump.
So drinking blue is surely an improvement to your regular habits, right? plink |
Thursday, May 09, 2023
Grunge causes pipe-bombs
In the media frenzy to answer the unanswerable question of why, journalists have been quick to latch onto the fact that Luke Helder, the 2002 College Bomb Maker of the Year, liked the grunge band Nirvana.
In fact, every story that has its basis on the Associated Press report carries this line "Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain commited suicide in 1994", as if committing suicide was inherently linked to attempted homicide.
All of course except for the sole BBC report.
CNN highlighted it in a box-out. Washington Post says he was "preoccupied" with it. LA Times reports him as being "infatuated" with it. So if you were a big fan of the Beatles, does that mean you're a paranoid because Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey?
At least one source ran a story about this music/homicide link. But focused on the denials by music lovers and musicians and stopped short of chiding the media.
Will journalists ever stop accusing bands of inciting violence?
(BTW, lukehelder.com has already been taken, dammit.) plink |
In the media frenzy to answer the unanswerable question of why, journalists have been quick to latch onto the fact that Luke Helder, the 2002 College Bomb Maker of the Year, liked the grunge band Nirvana.
In fact, every story that has its basis on the Associated Press report carries this line "Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain commited suicide in 1994", as if committing suicide was inherently linked to attempted homicide.
All of course except for the sole BBC report.
CNN highlighted it in a box-out. Washington Post says he was "preoccupied" with it. LA Times reports him as being "infatuated" with it. So if you were a big fan of the Beatles, does that mean you're a paranoid because Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey?
At least one source ran a story about this music/homicide link. But focused on the denials by music lovers and musicians and stopped short of chiding the media.
Will journalists ever stop accusing bands of inciting violence?
(BTW, lukehelder.com has already been taken, dammit.) plink |
Tuesday, May 07, 2023
To the sickos pinging me looking for Lisa Lopes autopsy photos
I'm sure you'll enjoy this posthumous dedication.
A. Roach: "We really miss Miss Lopes. We feel like there's a little bit of her in everyone of us..." plink |
I'm sure you'll enjoy this posthumous dedication.
A. Roach: "We really miss Miss Lopes. We feel like there's a little bit of her in everyone of us..." plink |
Tuesday, May 07, 2023
Tuesday Trivia!
Welcome to Tuesday Trivia when you bovinely-volunteer to answer explicit and vague questions about yourself on your public forum without any legal protection where anybody can read your potentially embarrassing answers, including your mother and your friendly neighbourhood axe-murderer.
This week's questions were selected by our guest-editor, the late Pim Fortuyn. (When you're through answering them, don't forget to leave a comment in the comments box!)
Welcome to Tuesday Trivia when you bovinely-volunteer to answer explicit and vague questions about yourself on your public forum without any legal protection where anybody can read your potentially embarrassing answers, including your mother and your friendly neighbourhood axe-murderer.
This week's questions were selected by our guest-editor, the late Pim Fortuyn. (When you're through answering them, don't forget to leave a comment in the comments box!)
1) Have you ever been afraid to leave your home in the middle of the night?plink |
2) It's because of them filthy sewer-bathing Arab and Black immigrants, isn't it?
3) If you caught a filthy immigrant in your garden eating your flowers because he hasn't eaten in a week, would you shoot him in the head while his bitch and ratlings are watching or would you cut off his nuts and make them eat it?
4) Suppose you discovered that your neighbour was gay. Would you break into his house and rape his boyfriend with a broken glass bottle or tie him to his bed and burn his house down while he was still in it?
5) Saaaaay, that's not a gun in your pocket, is it?
Saturday, May 04, 2023
You know who I mean
You may find it ironic that for someone who is found alone 99.9% of his waking hours (and sleeping hours), I really hate it when people I'm trying to have a conversation with keep silent.
When the communication cannot or is unlikely to have been misdirected, then I'm left with no doubt that I'm being ignored on purpose. And that really bites.
I am not invisible. I am a living human being with feelings. And with an ego to feed and house.
Don't you really hate it when people do that to you?
You want to go up to them, kick them in the nuts and demand that 'If you don't want to talk to me, then fucking say so'. Giving hints with non-verbal cues is saying you're too stupid to handle the truth.
Or else that you're regarded as worthy as belly-button dust. That you're hardly worth the breath it takes to say 'get lost'. In which case they ought to have two words coming to them too.
I most certainly do not accept fear as an excuse. Whether it is fear that I'll make a scene nor fear that I will hate them for their true response because it doesn't affect the result: either way I have already collected copious amounts of bile for them just from being ignored.
Immature, moi? Bullshit. That's a retort tactic that is as robust as a rubber chicken in a rubber chicken orgy.
I can get over the hurt of being rejected (eventually), but I can't even start when I'm left with Pat Boone whistling 'Greensleeves' in my ear. plink |
You may find it ironic that for someone who is found alone 99.9% of his waking hours (and sleeping hours), I really hate it when people I'm trying to have a conversation with keep silent.
When the communication cannot or is unlikely to have been misdirected, then I'm left with no doubt that I'm being ignored on purpose. And that really bites.
I am not invisible. I am a living human being with feelings. And with an ego to feed and house.
Don't you really hate it when people do that to you?
You want to go up to them, kick them in the nuts and demand that 'If you don't want to talk to me, then fucking say so'. Giving hints with non-verbal cues is saying you're too stupid to handle the truth.
Or else that you're regarded as worthy as belly-button dust. That you're hardly worth the breath it takes to say 'get lost'. In which case they ought to have two words coming to them too.
I most certainly do not accept fear as an excuse. Whether it is fear that I'll make a scene nor fear that I will hate them for their true response because it doesn't affect the result: either way I have already collected copious amounts of bile for them just from being ignored.
Immature, moi? Bullshit. That's a retort tactic that is as robust as a rubber chicken in a rubber chicken orgy.
I can get over the hurt of being rejected (eventually), but I can't even start when I'm left with Pat Boone whistling 'Greensleeves' in my ear. plink |
Saturday, May 04, 2023
Massacre? What massacre?
Oh you mean THESE 54 bodies? Don't make me laugh. ~ Major David Holley of the British Territorial Army
Here's someone who's been in the army too long. plink |
Oh you mean THESE 54 bodies? Don't make me laugh. ~ Major David Holley of the British Territorial Army
Here's someone who's been in the army too long. plink |
Friday, May 03, 2023
Hmmm
Yesterday's entry was weird. Gotta stop doing that shit. plink |
Yesterday's entry was weird. Gotta stop doing that shit. plink |
Thursday, May 02, 2023
Interns sign on with Al-Qaeda
This summer, thousands of college students have signed on with the Al-Qaeda organisation in a bid to find the necessary training employment to graduate into the final year.
As college intakes have increased as much as 80% in some colleges once again, the competition to find internships is driving many to turn to the one employer which seems to have deep pockets and space for everyone.
"How am I supposed to learn the importance of law if I don't learn to break it?" said Trudy Wench, a 2nd year law student, in response to why she was interning at Al-Qaeda. "Mr bin Laden offered a place in his marketing department to help spread the word of Allah, so I took it," said John Weeks, an advertising student. "I'll never have to shave for the next three months," said Al Nieri, an computer science student.
Would they learn to become terrorists or turn themselves into human-bombs? "Certainly not," said Mfasa Mfasa a engineering student. "Not for the measly $5 lunch allowances we're getting. We're not slaves, you know."
Asked if he had ambitions to join Al-Qaeda after graduation, Wong Waikoon said, "Well, they don't have much call for social studies grads."
At press time, Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, reported saying that the government has not yet decided how to handle the interns once they return from the summer break.
But he has not ruled out extra assignments, he added. plink |
This summer, thousands of college students have signed on with the Al-Qaeda organisation in a bid to find the necessary training employment to graduate into the final year.
As college intakes have increased as much as 80% in some colleges once again, the competition to find internships is driving many to turn to the one employer which seems to have deep pockets and space for everyone.
"How am I supposed to learn the importance of law if I don't learn to break it?" said Trudy Wench, a 2nd year law student, in response to why she was interning at Al-Qaeda. "Mr bin Laden offered a place in his marketing department to help spread the word of Allah, so I took it," said John Weeks, an advertising student. "I'll never have to shave for the next three months," said Al Nieri, an computer science student.
Would they learn to become terrorists or turn themselves into human-bombs? "Certainly not," said Mfasa Mfasa a engineering student. "Not for the measly $5 lunch allowances we're getting. We're not slaves, you know."
Asked if he had ambitions to join Al-Qaeda after graduation, Wong Waikoon said, "Well, they don't have much call for social studies grads."
At press time, Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, reported saying that the government has not yet decided how to handle the interns once they return from the summer break.
But he has not ruled out extra assignments, he added. plink |
Wednesday, May 01, 2023
What?! OSX doesn't play VCDs?!
I've got a collection of hundreds of VCDs and I buy between 10 and 20 a month.
Unfortunately, OSX doesn't support VCD format like these guys are lamenting. Not even in Classic Environment, the simulated OS9 operating environment in OSX. (Lying sons-of-bitches at the local Mac stores cleverly omit this detail every time they sell an iMac or an iBook.)
There are three solutions:
1) Reboot in OS9 every time you want to watch a VCD (Quicktime supports VCD format. It's just that OSX specifically refuses to read VCDs.)
2) Pay USD$19.95 for MacVCD X from Mireth. It's the ONLY VCD player on the market for OSX and has been for several months. Unfortunately, this software doesn't support VCD2.0 format which virtually every VCD on the market is using right now.
3) Get a free OSX .DAT to .MPEG convertor software and re-burn all your VCDs onto a new disc or everytime you want to watch a new VCD.
I can only hope it's an over-sight on Apple's part or some technical delay and that version 10.2 or some later version will re-instate support for VCDs.
Dammit. Gotta go re-boot now.
UPDATE: From the discussion on Versiontracker about the latest version of MacVCD, I found VLC (0.9mb) -- Video LAN Client. It plays VCDs in three speeds and with a resizable screen. Plays more VCD formats than Quicktime did in OS9. plink |
I've got a collection of hundreds of VCDs and I buy between 10 and 20 a month.
Unfortunately, OSX doesn't support VCD format like these guys are lamenting. Not even in Classic Environment, the simulated OS9 operating environment in OSX. (Lying sons-of-bitches at the local Mac stores cleverly omit this detail every time they sell an iMac or an iBook.)
There are three solutions:
1) Reboot in OS9 every time you want to watch a VCD (Quicktime supports VCD format. It's just that OSX specifically refuses to read VCDs.)
2) Pay USD$19.95 for MacVCD X from Mireth. It's the ONLY VCD player on the market for OSX and has been for several months. Unfortunately, this software doesn't support VCD2.0 format which virtually every VCD on the market is using right now.
3) Get a free OSX .DAT to .MPEG convertor software and re-burn all your VCDs onto a new disc or everytime you want to watch a new VCD.
I can only hope it's an over-sight on Apple's part or some technical delay and that version 10.2 or some later version will re-instate support for VCDs.
Dammit. Gotta go re-boot now.
UPDATE: From the discussion on Versiontracker about the latest version of MacVCD, I found VLC (0.9mb) -- Video LAN Client. It plays VCDs in three speeds and with a resizable screen. Plays more VCD formats than Quicktime did in OS9. plink |
